Lately I’ve been doing a lot of thinking around thinking.
Particularly around mental clarity and the clearness/intentionality with which I approach my day to day actions, projects, companies, etc. I feel like there’s been something really missing there — when you’re in the trenches and just doing the work, things can get really monotonous and just rote. It’s useful then, sometimes, to take a step back and re-evaluate things.
Re-evaluate the big picture of whatever it is I’m doing. Like the classic Steve Jobs quote goes:
“I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”
I feel that somewhere along the lines I’ve lost touch with myself. Or maybe I never really WAS in touch with myself. I’ve been meaning for ages to sit down and pen a reflection — a reflection of where I am, what I’m interested in, why I’m interested in them, my thesis, my ideas and putting this all together into a life “ethos” or mission so-to-speak.
It’s just incredibly tough to find the time, but I guess this is just as good a start as any. Like I’m learning on this ongoing road to fighting my porn addiction, sometimes you just need to let the discomfort sit. And you need to let it push you into action — not RE-action (which is giving in) but action.
Point being, I’ve been in a ton of discomfort around feeling like a ship lost at sea. Or maybe lost isn’t even the right word, like the Alice in Wonderland thing — how can you be lost if you have no idea where you’re going?
It’s time I sat down and really figured this out. What I’m doing with tonebase, where I want to take things, what fields I really want to get into, what education I need to get, what things I want to learn. Set some goals, cut through the bullshit and start this whole journey called life. There doesn’t seem to be a better time than right now, while I’m graduating college, to do this so here we go.
Oh and last note, I’ve been reading some Ralph Waldo Emerson lately, the man is a masterclass in fine writing. I can’t understand half of it but then you get to a few lines that just jump out and resonate and you can’t help but feel them somewhere deeper than just your eyes and your mind. I need to find more of this kind of reading too, after all, the only way to really achieve mental clarity and clarity of thought is to learn from the best and take the good, leave the bad.
That’s it, just wanted to get some thoughts down around this whole topic, and I’m sure as I think more about it I’ll probably write more. I’ll just end with two quotes in the RWE essay that stood out to me. They have little to do with what I’ve written here but that I really really loved (even as an atheist):
(1) “God will not have his work made manifest by cowards”
(2) “Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind”